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We’ve been enjoying unseasonably warm weather in the big BK this past week, which has put a spring into my pregnant waddle, and apparently, Spring into my taste buds. It even inspired me to dust off the Kitchen Aid stand mixer one last time before our newest addition to the kitchen staff makes her way here…possibly in the next two days. That’s right, just two short days until the date that has been circled on the calendar for the past 9 months is upon us, which makes Husband an absolute wreck every time he sees my phone number on his caller ID, and makes me obsessively clean bathrooms while listening to Erasure. What Mama could really use is a good, stiff Grey Goose Gimlet, but today, she’ll settle for Crumb Cake.
But not just any Crumb Cake, mind you. If you are gonna do cake, you gotta do it right, and that means Barefoot Contessa style.
Well, I certainly hope none of you were searching for something light and healthy after gorging yourself this past weekend on stuffing and gravy. And apple crumb pie. And Bacon & Leek Potato Gratin. Wait…don’t I still have some of that hidden from Husband in the fridge? Back in a sec….
You’d think that the abundance of creamy carbs currently filling my system would make me desire something a little less stick-to-your-ribs than pasta with cream sauce, but, you see, there is another power at work here – a power that makes me pee at odd intervals (like 5x this past hour), burp loudly in mixed company, and crave nothing but carbs, morning, noon and night. This power also firmly plants its heel into my kidney at inappropriate times of day, and causes my body to experience all manner of “little miracles” that are best reserved for a forum other than a food blog. Trust me, there are some things you guys just don’t wanna know about.
Dear Crockpot,
Crockpot, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but people in the foodie community tend to be really down on you. I am not quite sure why you’ve become the Sandra Lee of small kitchen appliances, Crockpot, cause in my book, you’re aces.
Remember that time we made those Chipotle Beef Short-Ribs? Those were like, really really good. Thank you, Crockpot, cause the day we made those, I was at work most of the day, and even though Husband was home, you and I both know that he doesn’t quite grasp the concept of pesky little things like cooking temperatures. (Like that time he tried to cook a Stouffer’s French Bread Pizza at 250F! Seriously, you and I had a good LOL over that!)
I also really have to take my hat off to you for always agreeing to be the designated Cook on Thanksgiving, and keeping the mashed potatoes warm all day so I can mash in the morning, guest-free. Sure, that third glass of Gewertzaminer before 2pm last year may have meant we all ate dry turkey, but everyone commented on how light and fluffy the potatoes were! Kudos, Crockpot. Nice save.
But your crowning achievement yet would have to be the Pulled Pork you whipped up this past Labor Day weekend. I may have called it a night and went to bed, but not only did you pull an all-nighter, you also kept the pork warm until 4pm the next day for our party! The pulled pork (with a bit of effort from me on the whole pulling part…I can’t exactly expect you to do everything) was moist and deeply flavorful – the kind of flavor that you only get when you cook something for like 16 hours. Seriously, Crockpot, I don’t know if there are words to describe your awesomeness.
So the next time you feel that I am neglecting you for Miss Orange Creuset or Mr All-Clad Sautee Pan, just remember – I love you all equally, but in very different ways. (Though, between you and me, Crockpot, you will always be my special little guy.)
xoxo,
Kitty
